


Wash the Echoes Out

by tiggeryumyum



Series: Post-Karasuno Kagehina [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-03-22 02:27:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13754343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiggeryumyum/pseuds/tiggeryumyum
Summary: Hinata falls in love with Kageyama, how terrible is that?





	1. Chapter One

Before we get started, you should know that Hinata falls in love, like, a lot. 

It's not _serious_ , but he likes people, and when they get happy he likes seeing it, and when they share it with him, he likes feeling it. 

Even sometimes when he hates someone – really, _really_ hates them – like Tsukishima, the worst (the _worst_ ), it's hard for him to keep it up when he sees them and they're doing something nice, or their feelings are hurt, or whatever (like when Tsukishima got a rejection letter from his top college of choice, the one he had bragged about a month before, and how he hadn't been able to hide his hands, shaking slightly from raw disappointment, Hinata had loved him a little bit, just then). 

And before we go any further, you should know that Hinata hates, like, a lot.

It gets so intense in his gut that as a little kid he felt like if he lifted his shirt, his stomach would be glowing bright red, he's so frustrated, and so angry, it can make him shake.

But the love and the hate are like the burst of flame across the top of a curry dish, lasting only the brilliant moment it takes to flash across the surface, tempering the food before dying out. It's not something Hinata tries to hold.

~

First, Hinata hates Kageyama. He's awful. He's never met anyone worse. 

1\. Kageyama is tall.  
2\. He has a whole team of tall guys, just like him.  
3\. They get to play volleyball all the time, and it makes Hinata so jealous he feels like he could gnaw a hole through the volleyball in his hands!  
4\. He's also an asshole!!! A huge asshole!!  
5\. Ughh but he's so good at volleyball, and it's all Hinata wants to be. He doesn't know how he would feel about it if Kageyama was nice – still pretty frustrated, but he's _mean_ , so all Hinata wants to do is beat him. It's all Hinata thinks about, all summer, all practice, every bike ride to the city and every early morning jog.

All he has to worry about is whether or not Kageyama will go to a school in the Miyagi prefecture, so Hinata will have a chance to beat him – but Kageyama is seriously good, so Hinata figures at very worst they'll meet at nationals, and he can beat him there.

~

Turns out that was not the very worst possibilty.

~

Hinata has friends.

If Hinata needs a favor from his friends, he clasps his hands in front of himself, and he bows his head, and he asks _please please please_ , and a friend will, even if they don't want to. They'll do it because they care about him, and want him to be happy. 

Hinata could bow his head to Kageyama and he could ask _please please please_ and Kageyama would only stare with cold, unimpressed, unmoved eyes. Kageyama doesn't care about pleases, deference, or Hinata's happiness. 

But. Kageyama is the only one he's met so far who looks at Hinata and sees a volleyball player. Not a friend, not a favor, not an obligation. 

Kageyama is exactly what Hinata needs to play, but _only_ that. He's got a bar, it's high in the air, and he will not lower it. Hinata's only choice is to rise up and meet it.

Kageyama casts a dark, taunting shadow all through his first year. A menacing grin of sharp teeth and mocking eyes. It's a maddening combination of hatred and gratitude because Hinata also knows, in no other team, with no other setter, would Hinata be a regular. This is his only shot, and it feels like playing a video game on a console that's so temperamental it'll shut down because of a single speck of dust, one that Hinata is constantly having to figure out, finagle, placate, before it will be coaxed into working again. 

It's frustrating, so Hinata wakes up early and races through his morning routine, out the door and to his bike, any time he starts to slow down on the hill he remembers Kageyama's _grin_ Kageyama's barking _insults_ and goes faster, because speed is _not_ something Hinata lacks and he's going to count up every victory he can, and shove each and every one in Kageyama's face.

~

But Hinata does like people.

It's not in his nature to hate for very long, and a few months in – of course he still wants to beat Kageyama into the earth and crow as the smile is wiped off his face – but he'd like if they shared more than just victory on the court. 

Kageyama doesn't want to share anything with Hinata, at all.

He ignores most of Hinata's texts, replying with short "no" or "yes" when Hinata presses for an answer. He was so confused when Hinata asked if he wanted to eat lunch together that Hinata doesn't bother to try again until they're forced to study through it in order to pass exams. 

They get along in practice, they share goals and they bond as Hinata improves, but still. Kageyama continues to be _exactly_ what Hinata needs, and _only_ that.

 **Me** :  
look at this!!  
Lattest Omotesando's Emperor Cup Hot Chocolate  
its a special just during v league finals!!  
I'm going tomorrow

Kageyama doesn't answer, and Hinata glares at the conversation as he drinks the hot chocolate. It's delicious but he's in a bad enough mood that this makes him angrier. Stupid Kageyama. 

Whatever. 

It's second year now and Hinata's used to it. Whatever. It doesn't matter. The first thing Hinata ever learned about Kageyama is that he's a jerk, so whatever. He'll just let it go. This is hardly the first text Kageyama's ignored so. Whatever.

~

"What, do you not like hot chocolate??" he demands, as soon as he sees Kageyama again, putting on his sneakers for practice.

"What?" Kageyama asks.

"My text. You ignored it."

Kageyama glances at his gym bag, where his phone sits. "… It's alright."

"Ugh."

"What's your problem?" Kageyama asks, clearly confused, and a little annoyed about it. 

"You ignored my text! Again! Like always!"

Kageyama recoils slightly. "What was I supposed to say?"

"Anything! That's what friends _do_ , Kageyama!" Hinata says. "They send each other things that they'll like and then they have _conversations_ about it!"

Kageyama's expression is creasing in deeper annoyance as Hinata talks. But Hinata knows this expression – it's not actual anger, it's Kageyama shutting down. Kageyama is confused by this display, isn't going to try to understand it, isn't listening, and Hinata is wasting his breath.

Annoyed, Hinata grabs his own sneakers and starts shoving them on his feet. 

Kageyama watches him a second longer, like a spooked animal waiting to see if the coast is clear, before going back to tying his shoes. 

This is Hinata's fault. It's not like Kageyama's been giving mixed signals: Kageyama doesn't want to be friends, or he doesn't know how to be friends. Either way it's not Hinata's problem, and it's not like it's something to get upset about! Kageyama isn't even all that great. If he didn't play volleyball he'd just be some – tall, dark, spooky pole somewhere, only good for changing light bulbs. 

Hinata decides to practice with one of the first years today, a setter who isn't as good as Kageyama, obviously, but they're improving together, and Hinata can hit scoring spikes off his tosses during practice matches. 

On a national stage, Hinata does still _need_ Kageyama. 

And Kageyama is continuing to do exactly that, exactly what he promised, and nothing more. 

~

Hinata meets Shoku during a vacation between second and third year. 

He's visiting family in Kyoto, and all the adults are busy trying to plan the rest of their week, and the younger ones have all been herded in front of the television, watching educational shows with animated characters talking about shapes, colors, and numbers. 

Hinata is the only teenager at this family gathering, and his uncle takes pity on him, dropping him off at the skate park.

Shuko is there, and his age. She offers Hinata her cherry Ramune, and lets him use her skateboard. 

Hinata isn't good at skateboarding. This isn't surprising, because Hinata isn't really all that great at anything at the first attempt. He knows he _can_ be good at anything if he works hard, but he doesn't think he wants to be good at skating.

He does want to be good at talking to Shuko, though (she has dark eyes and dark hair, and it's in a long braid, and she's got freckles on her shoulders) so he keeps trying to find his balance on her board. 

Learning how to hold his weight on the skateboard is different than learning how to receive or spike _because_ , when you're learning balance, the cute, cool girl teaching you touches you. A lot. Like she puts her hands on his hips, and against his chest, and she bends down and touches his knee to correct it. Shuko smells like sweat, because they've been in the sun and she's been skating all morning. She has paper-white scars on her palms and elbows and knees. 

She doesn't have any scars on her stomach, or her ribs, or her breasts. 

He finds that out when she invites him over to her house for lunch. Then to her bedroom for a break. Then to her bed. For sex.

Her breasts are as cool as the rest of her. They're small, and pretty, and everything the curious little hunger in his stomach had wondered about the soft shapes of his female classmates. Shuko laughs and lets him touch her, and he spends a lot of time on her breasts, because they are so fascinating – there are two of them – but the second time they have sex, he is calmed down enough to only nuzzle them as he explores other things.

Shuko is not as interested in exploring Hinata's body. She touches his dick the way he watched Yachi touch a turtle they found in the riverbed, slightly timid, then grinning to herself like she can't believe she has the daring. Still, Shuko liked when Hinata was inside her, she said as much, as he moved, sounding pleased as Hinata's hips thrust and thrust and thrust. 

The first time she made him pull out after he came, saying that was enough. The second time she sighed softly and let him keep going until he slipped out himself, and the third time she had her legs wrapped around his waist, moaning.

Watching Shuko pleased like this, her dark hair spread out on the pillow, hits a raw, quivering desire in Hinata. _Love_ and _want_ and _good_ , and everything good ever jumbled up inside him – and Hinata decides he would like to be good at sex. 

He doesn't tell anyone about Shuko, he keeps it private and special and to himself, running it over in his mind in quiet moments, this special new thing he's discovered.

~

 **Kageyama** :  
00005840.jpg

On the ride home from Kyoto, Hinata wakes, lifting his head from the window to check his phone when he hears the chime. Frowning in surprise, he opens the message. Kageyama knows he's unavailable for practice, and he's never sent an image before, maybe it's a picture of the schedule for the upcoming year – 

It's a bird. 

Kageyama sent him a picture of a fluffy, brown bird sitting on a fence, near Kageyama's house. There's no caption, no explanation about why seeing this bird compelled Kageyama to take a picture, then send it to Hinata. 

Hinata stares at the image on his screen, speechless all the way down, from his mouth to his mind to his soul. There's not even a question in him, just stunned, profound silence.

He is, for some reason, blushing by the time he actually responds. 

**Me** :  
cool!!

He watches the notification, _Kageyama is typing..._ appear and disappear, flickering over and over until Kageyama apparently just gives up.

 **Kageyama** :  
yeah

 **Me** :  
Heading home now  
wanna practice tomorrow?

This is immediate – 

**Kageyama** :  
ok

Hinata smiles, tucking his phone away. 

~

Third year, Kageyama has a spoken test in English. He passes with a 65%. Before practice, Kageyama brings the results to the volleyball clubroom, and shows it to Hinata.

"Alright… " Hinata says, tentatively, confused, wondering if this is some kind of challenge. He hopes not, he hates English, and doesn't have quite the same motivation he did in first year to just duck down his head, shout at the top of his lungs, and barrel through any obstacles standing between him and being as good as Kageyama. 

But Kageyama doesn't seem to be gloating. And it's not like exams are coming up. Hinata realizes, with some surprise, that Kageyama is doing the obvious thing: sharing it with him. He was proud of his grade and wanted to share that with Hinata. 

"What, did you cheat?" Hinata says, recovering quickly, friendly teasing.

Kageyama shoves the test back into his bag. "Nope."

"You better not get caught, cheaters get suspended from club activities~"

"I didn't cheat, dumbass," but he's grinning, still very pleased with himself.

It's nothing. It's the kind of thing any classmate would share without thinking twice about it, but Hinata feels, abruptly, very close to Kageyama in a way he hasn't (off the court) in three whole years. 

~ 

A practice match with Tokonami has everyone waiting on the bus. Kageyama is running late, Hinata watches through the window of the bus as he jogs toward them, then hears the heavy thunk as he climbs on.

He is frazzled, annoyed by being late, having to hurry, and the noise of their kohai. He starts walking through the aisle, looking over the seats with intimidating, closed off defensiveness. Until his eyes land on Hinata, and his expression lightens in relief. 

~

"You can forget about making regular if you don't work on that endurance, Tatsuo! Get up and start jogging!" 

Tatsuo, a first year who has been "dreaming of making it to nationals with Karasuno since forever" ( – Tatsuo, welcoming ceremony last month), looks up at Kageyama's harsh bark. His eyes fill with tears, he ducks his head and hurries out to the court to jog. 

Kageyama recoils at the sight, blinking after him. 

In the clubhouse after everyone else has left, Kageyama pulls on his shirt, expression darker than usual, and Hinata can tell it's eating at him. Part of Hinata had been worried that Kageyama would turn into an asshole this year, his final year, when there were no more senpai around to keep him in check, but it actually seems to be the reverse. He's second guessing himself more with their kohai, the shadow of going too far and not realizing it until he lost the trust of his team hanging darker than ever.

Hinata's not surprised when Kageyama finally mutters, "I'm an asshole."

"Sometimes," Hinata says. "Not that time."

Kageyama pauses, and seems to be weighing Hinata's words, his opinion.

He must decide they weigh enough, because he nods, and actually seems to shake it off. 

~

Consider a bag of chips.

Each one is great, obviously, but the best chips are always the ones at the bottom, the chips twisted into strange, warped shapes, with unique crinkles and bends, the ones that were baked too long, maybe forgotten at the bottom of the tray for two rounds, and have the crunchiest bites. 

Kageyama is that. 

Kageyama is a warped, strangely molded, double salted chip Hinata spends the entire bag looking at, waiting to eat, imagining how satisfying it'll be when he bites into it. It might even taste gross, too much salt, burnt to a crisp, and he'll need to chug water to wash the taste away – but it's still the best, and the one he'll remember most, and the type he'll end up staring at the next bag he opens, the entire time, waiting for it.

~

Hinata has been playing with Kageyama three years, and he certainly knows him better than anyone else in their school. Possibly in the town. He thinks he's got it down, but it's not until a week after graduation that he actually makes his biggest discovery to date.

Kageyama is bored. A lot.

It's easy to miss, because Kageyama's face when he's bored isn't all that different from Kageyama annoyed or Kageyama tired, but they're having a big congratulations dinner – it's fun, Yamaguchi is talking about maybe taking a trip to a park next month, and Hinata is going to see if he's got the money for it, Sugawara is trying to steal food from Tanaka's plate while he fights with Nishinoya about an action movie they just saw. Sawamura is a little drunk and trying to talk Asahi into arm wrestling, and Yachi is trying to talk him down.

And Kageyama sighs, very, very softly. 

Hinata looks and realizes that – the straight line of his mouth, the slightly distant gaze – it's not smugness or annoyance or superiority. It's pure, raw _boredom_. 

Hinata looks over the scene again. How can he be bored? It's their friends, it's loud and fun and everyone is happy. Still, he is, and in a flash, Hinata sees Kageyama's entire life up to this point: enduring each class, each gathering, each car ride, not making friends, not engaged in school work. Quietly, consistently, nearly always _bored_. Not making a fuss about it because this is how it's always been.

This is horrifying. 

Hinata can't tolerate boredom, he's still as antsy about it as he was a first year, the only thing that's improved is his ability to distract himself, which he has to do nearly every class, because he gets bored, and it is so awful, it makes time crawl by so slowly, he can't stand it, how does Kageyama??

"Hey, let's thumb wrestle," Hinata says, abruptly, grabbing Kageyama's hand.

Kageyama blinks in surprise, like waking up from a trance, and a smile spreads across his face.

"Alright."

~

It's not a flash, it's not the quick, burst of emotion Hinata's familiar with, so it snuck up on him. That night, laying in bed, Hinata realizes he's been standing in knee deep love for Kageyama for a while, and now it's coming in like a flood, up to his chest, rising fast, sinking deep into him, tingling, leaving his toes wiggling. 

~

Does Kageyama love people??

He must. He must love his mother, but what about people he doesn't have to? Does he _want_ to? Does he love his friends, does that love turn into something that lights up his insides? Is it that balled up tug and war between hate and love that Hinata has battling inside him? Does it consume him, distract his attention from volleyball? 

**Shuko** :  
IDK  
send pic?

 **Me** :  
001455454324.jpg

 **Shuko** :  
aw  
he's cute  
but uh  
idk  
sorry

"Probably not," Kenma says, vaguely, when Hinata asks. 

"I mean," is what Yachi says. "First you'd have to define love, I think…" 

_It's impossible to tell,_ says the anonymous person online when Hinata posts about it. _ass juggler._

Ultimately Hinata knows it's pointless to ask anyone else. It's arrogant, probably, but Hinata knows by now, he's collected all the Kageyama pieces, more than anyone else. It'll be up to him, alone, to assemble them into a coherent picture.

His guess, from what he's already pieced together, is that Kageyama doesn't know what love is. But he didn't know what friendship was, either. Hinata is pretty sure he cares about his friends, in a way that could be called love, but there's no way he's thought about like this. 

_Still not something you should wait around for. You gotta let it go, live your life. Otherwise you'll start resenting him,_ says the anonymous person online. _Dickmunch_.

~

Hinata goes and lives his life at college. 

It's a small college, with a small volleyball team, and Hinata makes regular. (Kageyama lives his life at a large university, with a huge team, and he is benched)

One of Hinata's classes is Intro to Social Sciences, where a girl named Manami usually takes the desk to the left of him. 

Manami has a lot of checklists. 

Hinata doesn't think much about her either way, until she forgets her journal under her chair after class one day, and he sees that she's even color coded her checklists. It's so much like Yachi that Hinata smiles to himself as he picks it up, looking it over. 

He's expecting it to be for school, because they are in school, and he's still thinking about Yachi, so things like _English study at 3pm, club at 4pm_. 

But Manami's list says: _visit Tokyo tower_  
_A real college party_  
_Boyfriend!_  
_First kiss_

Hinata bites his lip. There's that flash, that burst – she is so quiet in class, keeping to herself, and knowing that quiet, shy person took all of her hopes and put them into words, to look at them and motivate her – this makes him want to be near her. He's never spoken to Manami, but he loves her, just then.

He wants to help her check off every single thing on this list.

He doesn't say anything about it, tucking it back in place and giving her journal to the professor for safekeeping, but the next day, he brings her some chocolates from the campus store, and Manami is so surprised she doesn't even react at first, her mouth a small circle of surprise as her face turns pink.

"The cashier gave me extra, and I just thought of you!" he says, smiling.

"Thank you," she whispers, and takes it. She places it in the center of her desk and doesn't open or eat it. 

She's very small, Manami is, and she sticks out a bit because of that. Hinata thinks of her so much as that, _small_ , fragile, that he doesn't really notice that she's also very average looking until he hears two guys in class calling her _plain_. 

She's not in the room, they're not trying to be mean, they're joking around with each other, but this makes Hinata mad enough to shout at the two of them to shut up. It's true. Manami has unremarkable, inoffensive features, slightly puffy. It's true, and that makes it an especially cruel thing to say. 

The boys look embarrassed that they were overheard, and grow quiet.

The next time Hinata sees Manami on campus, he asks if she'd like to go to Tokyo Tower, and also, be his girlfriend.

Her eyes tear up a little as she says yes. Hinata loves her so much. He wants to find all the lists she makes and read them in secret, then give her things from them one at a time, so she's this happy, all of the time.

Manami doesn't understand volleyball, at all. She comes to his games and she cheers for him, but she doesn't really understand the rules or terms. Hinata is fine with this, because Hinata doesn't understand her poems, but he listens to them anyway – they're important to her, so they're important to him.

She's funny, but it takes months of going out before Hinata finds that out. It takes months of going out before she actually relaxes around him at all, before her arms aren't held stiffly at her sides, before she doesn't jerk in surprise when he comes up from behind. She gets there, though, and eventually he's waking up to see her grinning at him from the other side of the pillow, tapping his nose.

"Good morning," she says. 

He bites her finger gently. "Hungry," he says, and she giggles, and they keep touching and teasing until they're late for class.

They spend two years together, the first half is spent slowly growing comfortable with one another, the second slowly saying goodbye. Breaking up is painless. There are no arguments, no resentment or awkwardness. Both of them have grown, but Manami in particular is far more confident, outspoken, a completely different girl than the one Hinata fell for, and she is ready for someone who loves her as an adult, instead of a frightened teenager.

They hug tightly at graduation, Manami cries a little, and they say goodbye. 

~

Manimi moves to Osaka, and Hinata gets the apartment in Tokyo. 

"Are you spending much time with Kageyama, still?" his mother asks over the phone, voice deliberately light.

The answer is yes, Hinata is, but he actually downplays it because his mother thinks Kageyama is a bad influence. 

The truth is, Hinata's time with Kageyama usually consists of playing volleyball, watching a movie, going out to eat, wandering around Kageyama's campus, and a few other perfectly innocent activities. 

The nightlife in Tokyo is loud and exciting, and hard to resist if Kageyama isn't there to distract him.

There are bars, and strangers, laughing and dancing and drinking. And sex. 

Manami had been intimidated by the thought of sex, and they didn't have any kind of intimate contact until the very end of their time together, and even then she had only felt comfortable if they both kept their shirts on, under the covers, quiet and slow. These moments are precious in Hinata's memory, and he's happy she shared them with him, but Hinata likes sex. A lot. All kinds, not just the quiet and gentle kind. In Tokyo it keeps falling into his lap, curious, sweaty, flushed, shivering bodies pressed against his. 

Each body is a story, each one is unique, a boy from a city even smaller than Miyagi who's embarrassed about his accent, but Hinata's never heard anything better than his lilting moans as they fuck. A girl with red rimmed eyes, fresh off a break up, wanting a distraction, clinging to Hinata, ducking her head against it as they move like she's finally finding it in his chest. 

He finds Choki leaning against the wall, a calm, bored expression on his face as he waits for his friends to finish at the bar.

"Ah, not my scene," he says, with a smile, when Hinata asks why he's hanging back. 

Hinata thinks that's fair enough, and he likes how he didn't realize how much older Choki actually was until he smiled, so he asks if he'd like to go talk in the alley in the back.

They spend all night out there, sitting on crates and talking about Choki's favorite author. Hinata doesn't remember the details of the books or the author themselves, but he remembers how Choki said they made him _angry_ , and that's why he liked them so much. 

It's early, early morning before Hinata finally gives up and decides to call it a night, and Choki offers his phone number.

Choki is chubby, his body soft, and Hinata is unable to find any way to press against him that is not comfortable, that he can't sink into. Hinata's nights in Tokyo start becoming calmer, preferring Choki's company, even when it's nothing more than Choki staying up late reading, arm around Hinata, who dozes, feeling warm and happy, until he gets bored, and pushes Choki's book away, and they have sex. 

Hinata has learned that sex can be intense, and a little stressful at times – there's so many insecurities people carry about their bodies, and their performance, and the inherent vulnerability of opening up like that. 

Choki and Hinata have the easiest, happiest, and _fun_ sex he's ever had, usually busting up in laughter during foreplay, having to school one another back down to the proper seriousness for the occasion. 

He doesn't mean to get serious with Choki, but he thinks about Choki a lot, and keeps finding excuses to be around him, to fall asleep in his bed, and with the lease ends on his apartment, it's an easy thing to move in with him, and at that point he decides to introduce him to his friends.

Manami was scared of Kageyama the entire time they were together, and Izumi and Koji never really warmed up to him either. 

Kageyama is an acquired taste, and Hinata wants to make sure this meeting goes smoothly, so he asks if Kageyama is free one evening to meet him and Choki at a cafe, just the three of them, easy. Of course Hinata ends up being late, barreling down the sidewalk, terrified about what he'll find – 

Only to round the corner and see Choki and Kageyama already sitting at a table together, a poorly hidden smile on Choki's face as he shows Kageyama a party trick that involves little bits of paper and a straw. Kageyama is obviously impressed, eyes wide as he watches Choki's straw "magically" collects up the paper from the table below. 

Dinner goes more or less well, except that Kageyama asks Choki why he's fat, visibly stops paying attention in the middle of Choki's story about the train ride over, and calls Hinata a dumbass four times.

"So what'd you think of Kageyama?"

"Ah!" Choki says. "He's great."

"… Seriously?"

"Yeah, he's a little rough around the edges," Choki says, with a shrug. "But he's adorable."

" _Seriously?_ "

Adorable is a bit much. Cute, maybe, especially when he asked if Choki could do the trick again at the end of dinner, and watched, just as amazed as the first time but – no, not adorable. Choki's good nature kicks in and he seems to see Kageyama as a potential project – something that overwhelms and alienates Kageyama quickly.

"Your friend doesn't like to answer texts," Choki notes one day.

"No kidding," Hinata says.

Hinata starts to find himself irritated by this, though he's not sure why. He had only wanted Kageyama and Manami to get along better, but for some reason he finds himself cheering Kageyama on when he acts like his abrupt, cold self with Choki. Choki is not deterred, and it's when he decides to turn his attentions to hooking Kageyama up with one of his friends that Hinata finally snaps. 

"Do you know how much – experience he has?" Choki asks, thoughtfully.

"No," Hinata forces out. Then, "Not much."

"Hm. Then how sure are we that he even likes girls?" Choki asks. 

"We're _not_." Hinata snaps it, voice cold, with all the frustration of the past ten years. 

Choki doesn't say anything, and when Hinata looks over, he sees him nodding to himself, scrolling on his phone. 

"Sorry," Hinata says.

Choki frowns, shaking his head, lifting his hand. _No big deal_. Hinata can tell though, that it was. 

"Sorry," Hinata says again. "I just…" 

He can't explain it, not to his boyfriend. 

There are other reasons, there are other things at play. 

Choki is friendly and fun, but he is mellow. When Hinata is excited, it can feel like he's speaking to a parent rather than a boyfriend, from how Choki humors him. He also uses very long, complex words in arguments, deliberately, to make Hinata feel stupid. It's not the worst thing. But they do build, and become noticeable, after a few years. 

When they break up, Hinata blames it on the fact that he could never really adequately explain why Kageyama was such an issue, it'll take a few years for Hinata to realize that Choki probably already knew.

~

While the premiere league fights over Kageyama, Hinata gets an offer from a minor league team. 

It does pay, but not enough to actually live off of. They don't need an answer until the end of the year, though, so Hinata tries to find a way to make it work.

He did well enough in college that it's not the hardest thing to get an office job, especially because he's not particular about anything except the salary.

Unfortunately it only lasts two months. He can't stand it. The stillness, the quiet, the repetitive, endless, mindless rotation. The dress code is a million times worse than a school uniform, especially after the freedom of college, and it's like living in a library. His desk is so deep in the rows that he can't even see the windows, and he finds himself getting up from his chair constantly, wandering around the floor, getting caught by his manager and reprimanded. 

He's given two warnings, then told the third will be his last.

It's actually Aone, from Date Tech, that gets him a commercial fishing job. It's supposed to be a one time thing, but Hinata takes to this naturally, energetic and excited to stand in the sun after months of a windowless office. It's physical, labor-intensive work. Climbing, carrying heavy loads, pulling up nets full of squirming, fighting fish the size of his arm in freezing rain. It's exhausting and dangerous, and Hinata loves it.

At the end, they give him a check that's enough to pay his rent and living expenses for the next six months. 

So Hinata decides that he will be a fisherman.

"We're going to have to disassemble it," the captain sighs.

"What? It's just stuck," Hinata says, pointing up. "All we have to do is unhook the net."

"Right," Ippei says, sarcastically. "All we have to do is get someone to climb up a 10 meter pole and physically free the net."

"I'll do it."

"Yeah, right."

"I _can_."

"Yeah? I bet three meat buns you can't."

It's a harsh slap from the past that leaves Hinata gaping.

"What?" Ippei says, looking confused and a little defensive. "It was a joke, weirdo. Do it or don't, I don't care."

"No – I just – I bet _five_."

Ippei grins. It's sharp and pleased.

"You're on."

Hinata slowly, slowly scales up the mast, and the whole crew cheers loudly when he makes it to the top, hoisting up a net that is far heavier than it looks from below, freeing it of the metal hook and letting it drop. 

The ship Hinata's working on is crewed entirely by old men, except Hinata and Ippei. Ippei is just two years older than Hinata, and he's surly, serious, and awkward. 

Sometimes Hinata sees the faint afterimage of Kageyama on Ippei's face, they are so, so alike.

It makes the differences more pointed: Kageyama isn't dumb, but he's not… engaged. With the world. He clearly finds it boring and dull, only bothering to reach out and touch a small fraction of it. This lack of effort can make him seem dumb.

Ippei is on guard. He's engaged with everything, defensive about it and sharp enough to cut yourself on.

His father, and his father's father, all fished this bay and he was raised on boats like this. He's more patient with Hinata than Kageyama, he's tall, dark hair, dark eyes – brown, but so dark they could be mistaken for black.

Hinata knows it's a mistake. An absolutely terrible idea. 

He almost wishes he never met Kageyama, cause he's pretty sure if that wasn't there, he could've been interested in Ippei just for Ippei, but it's impossible to separate the two. When Ippei smiles, when Ippei puts a warm hand on Hinata's shoulder, when Ippei shares a look because one of the old men's stories is going on too long, the rabid little beast that was biting at Kageyama's ankles all through high school perks its ears – _finally._

It's not fair to Ippei, it's a bad idea, it's a mistake, but there's a lot of downtime on a boat and Ippei is warm, and when he asks if Hinata _wants to play cards or something, whatever, it's not a big deal,_ the tips of his ears go pink, and Hinata is lost.

They don't play cards, but they do fuck. A lot.

It gets to the point that they're stocking up with large tubs of lube each time they make it to port, filling their bags and snickering to each other, making jokes about what sort of excuses they could come up with if anyone else on the boat saw what they were carrying on board.

"I'd just tell them the truth," Ippei boasts, trying to be impressive, but Hinata knows he would fold immediately, melting in a humiliated puddle if anyone found out. These men are friends with his father and family and saw him grow up, and they are eager to tease him.

Despite any other awkwardness, Ippei is polished and confident in bed in a completely different way from Choki. He grinds up into Hinata with lazy, unhurried thrusts, and this confidence extends to his turns bottoming, to the point that it almost feels as though he's in control of that, too, the shameless, bold way he spreads his legs, wanting and waiting without embarrassment as he watches Hinata slicks up his own dick. 

Hinata doesn't know if this is what it would be like to have sex with Kageyama. Sometimes he pretends it would, jerking off to the thought, and sometimes it makes him feel truly perverted and sick, to imagine Kageyama like this, in any sort of sexual context. Once, in third year, a girl successfully planted a kiss on Kageyama's cheek before he could lean back, and Kageyama had wiped at his cheek, stunned and unsettled like a grade schooler. 

But high school was a long time ago. And Hinata has Ippei, and shouldn't be thinking about Kageyama at all.

Ippei has a daughter who he's always looking forward to spending his time on shore with, and Hinata is excited when he finally gets to meet her, a chubby faced infant who is friendly and bold with strangers, holding up her arms for Hinata to lift her up immediately. Hinata is happy to do it, and knows this could be a very, very good life. If he takes it.

~

 **Kageyama** :  
hey

 **Me** :  
Hey!!  
We haven't talked in a while

 **Kageyama** :  
yeah

 **Me** :  
sorry :P  
been busy

 **Kageyama** :  
ok

Hinata narrows his eyes at the screen, unable to tell if something's wrong – it's the middle of the night, which makes this an unusual thing and an unusual time to get a text from Kageyama, but Hinata _has_ been very quiet...

 **Kageyama** :  
want some tosses?

Hinata laughs a little, memories leaving him breathless and hurt. 

**Me** :  
still on the boat for the next week

 **Kageyama** :  
ok

 **Me** :  
but after that we're making a trip to yokoshibahikari  
wanna come?

 **Kageyama** :  
ok  
we won the cup

Hinata _slams_ up in bed.

 **Me** :  
WJHTAE  
WHAT  
Bring copies of the game!!? we;'ll watchw hen I get there!!!!!  
wjhen was it??  
wtf kageyama!!!!!

 **Kageyama** :  
yesterday  
25-14, 30-32, 29-27, 32-34, 17-19

 **Me** :  
30s twice!!  
Brutal!!!!!!  
lmaoooo first set  
did you get lost on the way to the net or something

 **Kageyama** :  
shut up

"What is it?" Ippei asks, tired and groggy beside him.

"My friend won the Emperor's Cup."

"Oh," Ippei says, rolls over, and goes back to sleep.

Hinata doesn't realize how hard he's smiling until it dims slightly. He knows exactly what the jolt of excitement in him is. It's not just happiness for Kageyama's success. 

He bites his lip, feeling guilty as he eyes the length of Ippei's bare shoulders. 

Ippei has actually stated, several times, that this isn't a serious thing, it's casual, but Hinata knows him well enough by now that it's more than likely a defense. They're starting something real. 

He asks Kageyama a few more questions about the game, tempering down his excitement, then says good night.

 **Kageyama** :  
ok


	2. Chapter Two

Ippei's mother's side of the family runs a hot spring in Yokoshibahikari.

This is where Ippei typically spends his season off, and after minor league finishes, Ippei asks if Hinata would like to come along.

Five or so of Ippei's friends will be there, and he encourages Hinata to invite the same – it's the sort of thing that would _only_ make sense if he and Ippei were an official couple, but when Hinata attempts to test the actual word _together_ during the drive out, Ippei gets cagey and uncomfortable. 

"I'm not interested in something that serious," Ippei returns to this seemingly endlessly repeating line, and Hinata lets it go. 

The drive is long, and nearly all their guests arrive before Hinata and Ippei themselves, standing in awkward clusters across the entrance of the springs – Hinata's friends on one side, Ippei's on the other, not quite intermingling. 

Yamaguchi waves as they pull in, and Tsukishima does a semi-sarcastic version just behind that. Kageyama, standing beside Tsukishima, looks up from his phone at the movement. 

It's been a while, and there's a violent wave of nostalgia when he sees Kageyama's apathetic, mild expression, bringing to mind Karasuno's hallways in muggy summers, loud, bored slurps of milk from a straw, a painfully dry burning in his chest as he runs, faster than he ever thought possible, egged to go faster, and faster, with Kageyama a constant threat at his back. 

Kageyama's gaze lands on Hinata, focusing, and his entire presence transforms, lighting up with interest. 

Hinata forgot. He'd actually forgotten the hold Kageyama has on him, and when they park he has a moment of fear of actually getting out and starting all over again. 

"Fucking _finally_ ," laughs one of Ippei's friends, _thumping_ against Ippei's window. 

The greetings are all loud and relieved, noisy, with so many introductions, that it's not until they all sit down and Hinata sees them across from each other at the table that he realizes how bad it actually is.

"Kageyama," Kageyama says with a nod.

"Ippei," Ippei says, nodding back.

Behind them, at the head of the table, sits Tsukishima, who is taking in the scene and grins the most knowing, shit-eatingest grin Hinata has ever seen in his life. 

"So this is Ippei?" Tsukishima calls from across the table, eyebrow raised.

"We met on the boat," Hinata says, then pretends to be so distracted with his place setting that he can't possibly answer any further questions. 

They're not identical but they are very. Very similar.

Ippei's shorter, and stockier, and he's paler, as well, with an almost constant sunburn across the bridge of his nose from the work in the summers.

Kageyama glows, though. Hinata's forgot not just the influence Kageyama has on himself, but his overwhelming presence in general, how he can change the atmosphere of a room without saying a word, trying to, or even particularly wanting to. 

He moves with the smooth ease Hinata's seen in professional athletes: a person with full knowledge and control of their own body, a sort of grace that makes the teenager that stole Hinata's heart look like an awkward, screeching ostrich in comparison. He's intimidating, and Hinata watches the rest of the table silently evaluate him from a distance, unsure what to make of him, preening silently to himself that he knows Kageyama better than anyone, even now.

The night is enjoyable until the subject of volleyball is brought up by Ippei, for some reason – Hinata had been somewhat avoiding it as Ippei doesn't know anything about volleyball, was kind of an asshole about it when Hinata had attempted to explain some of the rules – and quickly turns into a disagreement.

"So! You won the cup?"

"Yes."

"Congratulations."

"Thanks," Kageyama says, nodding shortly. 

"Your team's going on to the international competition now?" Ippei asks. "The AVC Tournament?"

"No," Kageyama says. "That's finished. And it's the Peace Cup."

"Well, that's it's nickname," Ippei says. "It's actually called the AVC Tournament."

"No," Kageyama says. Kageyama does not know Ippei, and Hinata knows that normally, Kageyama would not be bothered about what strangers think, or strangers being wrong. Hinata can see him struggling to leave it at that, but the fact that this is volleyball makes frustration visibly rise in Kageyama's face, and he says again, firmer. " _No_ , it's the Peace Cup."

"That's what people call it, but the _technical_ name is AVC Tournament."

The tone starts to get the attention of the rest of the table, turning heads.

Why is Ippei arguing about this? Hinata stares, uncomfortable. Why would he care? Why would he pretend to know??

Both Ippei and Kageyama turn to Hinata with the exact same expression – _I'm right, right?_

"Uh."

Hinata isn't sure, he's heard both names, used interchangeably. But Kageyama is actually going to play in them, so if anyone knows – _but_ Kageyama can be pretty oblivious – _but_ not about volleyball.

"It's the Peace Cup," Hinata decides.

Ippei flinches, clearly embarrassed, and gets up from the table, muttering something about going to get more drinks. 

Hinata thinks that it's over, but Ippei comes back to the table apparently determined to get in a fight. 

" – And if it's so hard to catch his serve you should've just blocked it like you do the other spikes."

Kageyama is so flustered, and so lost about what to do about it, in any other setting it would be hilarious. "You can't _block_ a serve."

" _Can't_ , or it's just too hard?"

"You can't," Yamaguchi helpfully adds from the other side of the table. "It's the rule."

Ippei glances over at Yamaguchi, backing down a bit at the realization he's testing not just Kageyama. 

"Seems like a dumb rule to me," he says, and Kageyama looks like a teakettle about to blow.

"No more volleyball talk!" it's something Hinata never would've predicted coming out of his mouth, and he ignores Tsukishima's poorly muffled snicker.

The rest of dinner goes passably well, empty cups stacking on the table liberally, and as the hours creep by, the room slowly empties, not many people having the endurance for a long night after the drive. 

Eventually Kageyama and Yamaguchi leave to get drinks, and Ippei shows some of their friends the room they'll be staying in. This leaves Hinata alone at the table with Tsukishima.

"Congratulations on your Kageyama doppelganger."

"Shut up," Hinata says, covering his head with both arms. 

"You're just lucky they're both too stupid to figure it out."

Hinata tightens his grip on his own head and moans into the table.

Tsukishima is quiet for a moment, taking a long drink, setting down his cup. He almost sounds concerned, "You know this isn't good."

"It's not like I did it on purpose!" Hinata says. "And it's not _that_ bad!"

"If you say so," Tsukshima shrugs, then gets up to find Yamaguchi, muttering something about getting to use the springs before bed. 

Kageyama returns before Ippei, and it's the first time he and Hinata have been alone all night. 

"You guys have a reserve setter, right?" Hinata says as a greeting. 

"I played all five sets," Kageyama says, pulling out his phone. 

They're in the middle of the first set when Ippei enters the room again, and Hinata is laughing, mocking Kageyama about a botched set – "Were you sleepy or something? Do you take a nap between sets??" "Shut up! It was my first time playing with Fuku-san." – as Ippei takes a seat beside him.

Hinata reaches out to greet him without looking, unable to tear his gaze away from the screen. He's not really sure how much time passes before Ippei slowly says, "I guess I'll meet you in the room."

"Yeah, yeah," Hinata says, patting Issei's arm, without looking away from the game.

He's so distracted he doesn't really notice the way Issei hesitates until a beat later, when he's up and moving.

~

Hinata is not patient. 

"What does the timer say, Shoyo?" 

His mother asks that from outside of the kitchen, she doesn't have to look to know he was getting ready to open the oven door again. 

"Five more minnnuteees," he whines, holding the timer in his hands, looking between the slowly ticking timer face and the cookies in the oven. 

Hinata whines, falling back on his bottom.

Baby Natsu sits in her high chair, entertained with a spoon full of peanut butter. She laughs when Hinata flops over, so he does it again, and she laughs again. This is fun, so Hinata keeps doing it, and by the time he looks at the timer again – 

Four minutes left!!

Hinata whines, shaking the timer, because he wants it to move faster but it's _not_.

"Be _patient_ , Shoyo!" his mother calls. 

But Hinata is not patient!!

He leans close to the glass, but not super close, because the glass window of the oven is very hot. The cookies _look_ done. It's just this stupid timer!! 

Hinata grabs the face of it, and his eyes widen in surprise when it actually lets him move it forward – twisting so there's only one minute left, thirty seconds left – he cranks it until it _DINGS!_

"That wasn't so hard, was it?" his mother says as she comes into the room, and Hinata jumps to his feet, bouncing around, happy, and this makes Natsu happy, and they both cheer as his mother moves the cookies from the tray to the plate.

They haven't finished baking, though.

The middles are doughy and wet, and taste greasy on his tongue.

Natasu makes a face, smacking her lips and letting it drop from her mouth to the tray below her, ruined, wet globs of dough.

~

Hinata is not patient.

"Would you be mad if I kissed you?" 

They watched the game three times, drinking from beginning to end. Hinata is so drunk it feels less like he's sitting upright, and more like he's floating. 

A very, very drunk Kageyama lays out on the table beside him, arm outstretched. He doesn't respond to the question right away. He seems to be thinking deeply on his answer, brow creasing as he does, and it makes Hinata, who had been sure that he'd be met with outright rejection, heart thud hard and nearly painful in his chest. 

"Like you kiss Choki.. ?"

"Yeah," he says. "Like that."

"Why?" it's unembarrassed, oblivious.

"Because – I want to. And maybe you want me to?" Hinata feels his eyes start to sting at the hopelessness of the idea.

"Alright."

Hinata wants so – so – _so_. 

He wants this so much but there's nothing reflected back in Kageyama's face. A blank _why not?_ the same vague trust Kageyama had put in Hinata when Hinata had dragged him to see a movie with a plot he thought was dumb. This is the best Hinata is going to get. He decides to take it anyway, take what he can, but at the last second, in some bizarre sense of self-preservation – 

_Be patient, Shoyo!_

– Hinata's thumb comes up in-between, meeting Kageyama's mouth first, pressed gently against Kageyama's plush lower lip, and this is what Hinata kisses, his own thumb nail. 

Kageyama is too drunk to tell the difference or care. He sighs and it teases Hinata's lips. Hinata pulls back. 

"Alright?" Kageyama asks, eyes closed, a mumbled question.

"No," Hinata says. 

Kageyama frowns, taking this as an insult, and makes a rude gesture with his fingers.

Hinata brings his thumb to his mouth, rests the pad that touched the soft, tender skin of Kageyama's lip, thin and a deeper pink than the rest of his face, between his teeth, and he _wants_ so _badly_.

He watches Kageyama against the table, one arm extended, hand half curled. He wants to twine their fingers together. He wants to press himself against Kageyama's side. He wants to feel the strands of Kageyama's hair, sure that they'd be smooth and soft.

"Time for bed," Hinata says, voice thick with frustration. 

"Okay," Kageyama says, without opening his eyes. 

Thankfully Kageyama typically doesn't have a problem with his motor skills while drunk, once he can get Kageyama to understand what he's actually saying – it's time to get up, and walk to a bed – he complies, stumbling only briefly on the steps, then walking into the room he'll be sleeping in, alone.

Hinata watches where he disappeared for a long while before walking to the room he's sharing with Ippei.

He's surprised to see the light is still on. 

Ippei is asleep on the bed, but on top of the covers, and still in his clothes. 

How long had he been downstairs… ?

Guilt is uncomfortable around his shoulders, and Hinata reminds himself what Issei himself has said: this relationship isn't a relationship at all, just a convenient thing. But Hinata isn't dumb enough to fall for it. Ippei has entrusted his feelings to Hinata's care, seemingly without his permission. Hinata is accountable for them.

"Hey," Hinata says, shaking Ippei awake. "Are you gonna sleep like that or put on pajamas?"

Ippei grunts something that might be 'pajamas', but all he does is sit up in bed and yank his shirt up, over his head.

He sits there, groggy, head hanging low. 

"I was lying, before," Ippei says, voice deep from his interrupted sleep. "When I said I didn't want it to be serious."

Hinata stares from where he's getting undressed across the room. 

"Really?" he asks.

"I – yeah, I do, but."

Hinata waits, but he doesn't finish. "But what?"

"You… " Ippei says. "That Kageyama guy."

"That's nothing," Hinata says, quickly, more sure it now that he's ever been. 

"I'm not _stupid._ " Ippei is awake now and scowling. "I saw. You and him. And it's obvious what'll happen as soon as – " His frown is so extreme he has to stop talking, dropping to hide his face in his arms. _As soon as Kageyama calls._

Hinata bites on the inside of his cheek. He climbs onto the bed, to Ippei's side. "I want to be with you," he says, so in love with Ippei at the moment he feels heartsick. 

"For now," Ippei says.

He kisses Ippei.

Ippei wants him, and he kisses back. Ippei wants him so bad he cups Hinata's face with his hands, and then wraps an arm around Hinata's waist, pulling him closer. 

_Never, never, never, ever_ , Hinata tells himself. He's never going to get this from Kageyama. He shouldn't have invited Kageyama on this trip, and as he realizes that, an unpleasant series of additional realizations follow. 

If he is serious about Ippei, he really does have to put down the torch for Kageyama. If he is unwilling to do that, he shouldn't put Ippei through this. And he doesn't know how to be around Kageyama without loving him.

"I want to be with you," Hinata says again. 

~

It takes a month for Hinata to realize he has made a mistake. 

Cutting contact with Kageyama again is easy, and the other man barely ever reaches out, anyway. But Ippei does not know how to be in a relationship. 

The easy atmosphere of before, when they were both pretending it was a matter of convenience, is gone. The sex is still amazing, but Ippei is so defensive and on edge, it becomes exhausting. At times it feels like going out with a teenager, distorted and extreme expectations placed on both himself and Hinata. 

"You went to lunch without me??"

"You were still on shift," Hinata says. "I was hungry."

Ippei stares at Hinata's plate in betrayal, and this could've been cute, if Hinata and Ippei didn't work together, sleep together, spend every waking minute together.

"You could've waited."

Hinata feels annoyed at this, suddenly feeling the strain of constantly catering to Ippei's prickly feelings, and he's a little curt as he repeats himself. "Yeah, but I was hungry."

"So now I'm just gonna eat alone?!"

Hinata's mouth opens once, wanting to ask if that would really kill him. He remembers a time when he _could've_ said that to Ippei, and he just would've laughed, and is jealous of his past self. 

"Sorry," he forces out, but does not mean it. It doesn't help anyway, Ippei is sullen and pouty the rest of the day. 

Hinata begins to worry if this is what it would be like with Kageyama – Kageyama isn't experienced, either, he's almost certainly _less_ experienced than Ippei, and maybe this is a blessing and a warning from the universe. A preview of what could be, if he does get as close as he wants to Kageyama. Maybe he won't like what he finds, and maybe they're better off as friends. 

Those are maybes, though, and nothing Hinata wants to seriously consider. He has bigger problems in front of him today.

The situation does not improve, and if it was any other situation, Hinata probably would've broken up with him after a month or two. But he does like his job, it's only going to take a few more months to finish up his contract, the sex is _really_ good, and Ippei's daughter is really cute, and they're stuck on a boat together. 

He can make it to the end of the season.

~

"Did you put your clothes in with my laundry?" Ippei asks, holding a pair of Hinata's shorts.

"... Is that a problem?"

"I mean," Ippei shakes his head, as though the very obvious answer is yes.

Or not.

~

Attempting to break up with Ippei: Round One.

All of Hinata's breakups have been amicable and friendly, and this left his guard down. 

Hinata doesn't even wait until they're about to dock before he finally decides he's reached his limit. It's some disagreement about tomorrow's lunch schedule, and Hinata just doesn't want to bother..

"We need a break."

"A break?"

Hinata realizes his mistake from Ippei's tone. He had been under the impression that Ippei was aware of the straining, fraying rope of their relationship, but he seems utterly floored.

"A break from _what??_ "

The following fight is far uglier, and way more exhausting, than any of their petty disagreements so far, and ends with Hinata holding both Ippei's hands and agreeing to give it another chance.

In truth, he is girding his loins for Round Two.

~

Attempting to break up with Ippei: Round Two.

He learned from his last attempt, and this time he waits until they are docked, after making it clear that he has his own plans to attend to for the entirety of his break. 

"You're just going to _say that_ and _leave_?" Ippei demands, looking horrified.

In retrospect, Hinata decides that was cruel. Obviously Ippei would want time to talk about it, not have it just thrown at his feet as Hinata runs away. 

Both of their plans are canceled, as they spend the next day on the empty, docked boat, arguing about the break up, and agreeing to give it another chance.

Though Hinata's stress levels are beginning to reach their peak, Hinata is oddly reminded of being in Karasuno, when they were reaching the end of a set and the point gap was spreading. How a calm would come over him as he tried to work out a solution. _It will come_ , the only patient part of him that exists says, confident about this. _Just wait_.

Unfortunately, shortly after this attempt, Hinata cracks and they spent several nights having some of the best sex of his life. Ippei seemed to be determined to make it up to Hinata, with his flesh, and his flesh is pretty damn great. 

Honestly if Ippei hadn't freaked out so horribly at the mention of a break, the relationship could've possibly been salvaged. Hinata is full of warm goodwill after their fucking, but the memory of their fights is a sharp, cold reminder that he has to get this over with.

~

Attempting to break up with Ippei: Round Three

"It's Kageyama, isn't it?"

Hinata stops himself from saying _actually_ , Kageyama is the reason they got together in the first place. "No," he says instead. "It's just not working between us."

There's a long pause.

"Fine," Ippei finally says, sounding more defeated than Hinata's ever heard. "I did my best. So I know.. it wasn't enough."

This makes Hinata want to scream into his hands, and give it one more chance, but no, he's not getting dragged into a round four. There's no formal goodbye. Hinata gathers his belongings quickly and escapes to the city, his own apartment, but only stays there a night before texting Kageyama. 

~

Maybe it was living in a cramped space with so many people, but staying in an empty apartment feels impossibly lonely, now. 

Guilt and frustration, as well as missing Ippei, despite everything, make him very unpleasant company.

Kageyama does not seem to mind.

"Are you a pig? Don't leave your socks on my table," Kageyama says, throwing one on Hinata's face as he passes by. 

After having to tiptoe around Ippei's feelings, this frank honesty is a relief.

Kageyama does not attempt to comfort him, or ask what went wrong. He also doesn't ask why Hinata picked his apartment, why Hinata stopped talking to him for nearly a year, and he does not kick him out. 

"Sorry," Hinata tries, after a week on Kageyama's couch. "About not keeping up."

Kageyama shrugs. "It is what it is."

Hinata marvels at this, wondering if maybe his pity was misplaced. Maybe the constant boredom Kageyama exists in would be worth it, worth this peace of mind, being utterly unbothered about the things he can't change. 

Kageyama is probably the only person Hinata's ever met who has less patience with being stuck indoors than him, but Hinata is still not good company, yet. They take to leaving his apartment when it's dark, sometimes finding a gym or open court to pass the ball back and forth, and sometimes drinking while wandering the streets. 

On the edge of the city the come across a bridge, one that runs parallel to a passenger train. Feeling impulsive and playful, Hinata jumps up on to a railing. " _Safe travels from Tokyo!!!_ " he shouts.

Obviously there's no logical reason to do this, they can't hear him, or anything else he shouts after that. It's dumb and pointless, and Kageyama says so, then mimics him. 

Cupping his hands around his mouth, Kageyama takes a deep breath before shouting whatever nonsense he's feeling – Hinata can't hear it, but he does see the way Kageyama's eyes close with the force of his shouts, the way he's giving himself into it entirely.

Kageyama is nothing like Ippei. Kageyama gives everything he has, all the time, as long as he decides it's worth it. That would petrify Ippei – how Kageyama never holds anything back, once he commits. He digs in, sinks in with his teeth, with no regrets, no regard to how vulnerable it leaves him. 

Hinata wants Kageyama. Still. He wants to be there to help him with the things he decides are worth it. He wants to show him other things that he's never considered. _Have you ever considered me?_ he wants to ask. _You should, you should…_

"What?" Kageyama asks, picking up on Hinata's stare, sort of like he's ready to fight if he has to.

"If you have to ask," Hinata sighs, slumping over the railing. "You'll never know."

When fishing season starts again it's easy enough to find a new boat, Hinata has a reputation and experience now. He gets an increase in salary, and a new crew, and when he thinks of _home_ , it's Kageyama's living room.

~

On a trip to the market for edamame and cucumbers, the cash register breaks.

It's a tiny shop, Hinata's the only one there at the moment, which is good because the teenage cashier looks on the verge tears as they dial their manager's number, over and over, apologizing between each call. 

"It's okay, I'm not in a rush," Hinata answers, each time. He winces when the door opens and a woman walks in. 

She is gorgeous and dressed in a dark pantsuit, hair tied up in a bun. She looks professional, like she has places to be, and Hinata's stomach drops for the cashier. She's not the kind of person anyone would want to disappoint.

The register still isn't working by the time she finishes her shopping, and she sets the basket on the counter, taking in the situation.

"Is something wrong?" she asks.

"The register's broke," Hinata explains, quickly. "It'll be fixed soon!"

"Ah," says the woman. He's so expecting her to be impatient and rude about this that her smile takes him completely off guard. It is a gorgeous smile. "These things happen. I'm in no hurry."

"Thank you for your patience," the cashier says, weepy. 

"Maybe we should turn the sign to closed until it's fixed?" the woman suggests, gently.

They do. It takes five more minutes for the manager to answer the phone, and then another twenty for them to make it down to the shop and fix the issue. In that time Hinata learns that the woman's name is Jitsuko. She works just down the street in the office district, and has a crippling weakness for gummies.

They end up leaving the store together, and once the door closes Hinata checks the time on his phone, and moans.

"I'm gonna be late."

"I thought you didn't have anywhere to be," Jitsuko says, raising an eyebrow.

"Ah, I just – didn't want the cashier to be alone, when new people came in," Hinata says, rubbing at the back of his neck. "They were so upset, so."

Jitsuko smiles, looking down at her feet for a moment. "Would you like to get dinner?"

Hinata almost looks behind him, just to make sure she's actually talking to him. 

" _Really?_ "

She laughs, nodding. 

They have dinner together twice, then both agree to lunch as soon as they're free again, and are officially dating by the end of the week. 

The next time he's invited out with his friends, he brings Jitsuko along, which is faster than he usually does. He'd be lying if part of him wasn't eager to show off just how gorgeous Jitsuko is, but she's also very personable and Hinata has no fears about how they'll all get along. 

Kageyama in particular is better than he was in high school at holding a conversation, and Jitsuko is gracious and patient. Hinata hopes there won't be any problems there, a little nervous when he ends up leaving the two of them alone during the gathering, only to come back to find the two of them talking seriously. 

Side by side, they look good together. They match. Their hair is the same shiny, sleek darkness, they've got a similar air of importance, the same sort of eye-catching aura, and for a moment Hinata is overwhelmed by his affection for both of them, his stupidly gorgeous friend and girlfriend.

No one in the world would ever do better than Jitsuko. She's the most beautiful woman Hinata has ever seen not on the television or in a magazine, and even prettier than some. She's smart and kind and gracious. She's patient and funny.

Jitsuko wears his jersey around the apartment and he catches her watching _Intro to Volleyball_ videos.

This is _it_ , this _has to be_ it. Hinata brings her home to meet his parents and his mother cries with happiness while walking them to the door.

Jitsuko knows what she's looking for, no longer interested in casual dating. She wants something serious and long lasting, and she's direct and frank enough about it that it's easy to go along with. It's still very early in their relationship but there are far worse things to imagine than adopting a dog with Jitsuko, buying a home with Jitsuko.

"I don't think I'd want more than three kids," Hinata says when they see a family of six leaving the train on the way to see a movie. 

"Well, I'm definitely not raising any kids in Tokyo. Where'd you say you grew up? Some small place, right? Miyagi… ?" Jitsuko asks, then, wanting to invite Kageyama into the conversation, "How did you like growing up in Miyagi, Tobio-san?" 

"Fine," Kageyama snaps. 

It's a rude enough tone that it takes both Hinata and Jitsuko off guard. 

This is the opposite of how it usually goes, usually Kageyama is stiff at the beginning, slowly warming up as time goes on. The more time he spends with Jitsuko, though, the worse he gets, snipping and hostile in a way Hinata's only ever seen him get with Tsukishima, first year. 

"I'm sorry, he's not normally that bad," Hinata says, on the way home after one particularly uncomfortable conversation.

"I don't take it personally," she says. "He's a very interesting person, isn't he? I guess all geniuses are. Very – intense."

Hinata surprises himself by feeling a little jealous of that. "I can be intense, too," he mutters. 

Jitsuko laughs, and challenges him to prove it, and so he does. 

~

"It's your birthday soon," Kageyama tells him, abruptly. Like when he was a teenager and wanted to start a fight.

"Yeah, it is," Hinata says.

Kageyama nods. 

Hinata's birthday comes, and Jitsuko buys him a wireless, waterproof speaker for the shower, a watch so expensive the second hand glides seamlessly across the face, and a renewed membership at his favorite gym.

Kageyama gets him a bag of oranges.

"You like these right?"

Of course he does, everyone likes oranges, but there's a way he says it that makes it apparent that he believes Hinata _especially_ likes oranges, and he doesn't need to ask to know why.

"Yeah, these are great," he says, giddy. He doesn't try to mask his emotions at all, and he hears a soft, quiet sigh. It's Jitsuko, watching from across the table. She looks away when she sees him watching. Her expression makes it pretty clear – this isn't the first time she noticed.

They don't talk about it then, or the next week, but he doesn't need to ask why when he comes home one day and sees her gathering up the few belongings that have slowly migrated into his apartment. 

"Are you sure?" he asks instead.

Jitsuko sighs. "You've got it bad."

"I – "

"I'm not mad," she says, putting her hand up. "You were a great boyfriend, Shoyo, I don't – regret anything. But – you're not single. Not really."

Hinata bites down on his lip, looking at the floor. He owes it to her to listen without a fight. 

"You can't keep living with one foot in the door. You're going to miss out on so much – we – " Jitsuko looks to the side, her eyes watering. "We could've had so much, Shoyo."

"That's what I want – "

She shakes her head, not humoring this. "Listen, if you actually manage to get over him, call me."

Hinata feels his own eyes stinging. 

This is the most damning thing, because he's not crying about this relationship. He's crying because it is finally hitting him, the things he will give up, for a fantasy he constructed in his head, a relationship he never had, and likely never will.

"I meant it," she's saying. "I don't have any regrets. You only gave me a sliver of yourself but I'm glad I even got that much. You're a great guy, Shoyo. Tobio is very lucky."

"He'll never," Hinata shakes his head. He has to accept that. He has to _accept it_ , why can't he??

Jitsuko smiles weakly and her own eyes start to leak. They comfort one another, and he helps her gather her belongings from the bathroom and bedroom, promising to keep an eye out for anything else she might have left behind. 

~

"Oh," his mother says, voice shaking with her disappointment when she hears about Jitsuko. "No, really? What happened, Shoyo? She was so lovely – Shoyo, you have to go after that girl! You're not going to get anyone better than her!"

But the problem is he doesn't want her, he doesn't want better, he wants worse, he wants the wrinkled little deformed chips that others crumple while it's still in the bag, tossing it into the trash altogether.

It's not just an adolescent infatuation. Hinata does still like people, he likes sharing with people, he always will, but Kageyama's presence is somewhere Hinata can relax, be at ease with himself in a way he's never experienced with anyone else. Hinata likes to take care of his partners, but with Kageyama it's natural and effortless, and still where Hinata thinks of when he imagines _home_. He wants to be with Kageyama the same way he wants to go _home_.

It's been years, though. 

And truly, there's no one to blame but himself. Kageyama never promised him anything, he never said he'd be Hinata's home. 

But. Kageyama has always had an open door for Hinata, always welcomed him in whenever he knocked. Never questioned when Hinata drifted away or held it against him. Maybe this really is the extent of what Kageyama can give, and maybe Hinata can try to actually be grateful for it, instead of just saying he is while feverishly hoping otherwise. 

~

"So." Hinata asks, after his break up with Jitsuko has spread through their social circle. "What was it? What was wrong with her?"

"What?" 

"You were a bigger jerk to Suko-chan than anyone I've gone out with!! So was she – mean or something?" Hinata asks. "When I wasn't there?"

"She was nicer than Ippei," Kageyama scoffs.

"Ippei was nice," Hinata sighs, the memory of that mangled, awkward relationship enough to make him wince. Ippei followed him on social media then immediately unfollowed four times the last year. "He was just jealous of you."

"She was nice," Kageyama mutters again.

"She actually liked you, you know," Hinata says, then almost barks a laugh at Kageyama's ugly expression, like the idea is some personal insult. "Why does that piss you off!"

"It doesn't," Kageyama snarls.

"Look at you! What the heck, Kageyama?"

"I didn't. Like," Kageyama grinds out, one word at a time. "That you wanted to move to Miyagi."

"… What?"

"You and Jitsuko-san were making plans – "

"Are you serious?" Hinata asks. "That – those were just hypothetical – "

"I _know_ ," Kageyama snarls. Hinata blinks, realizing for the first time that this anger isn't actually directed at Jitsuko – it's at Kageyama himself.

"… You wanted us to stay in Tokyo?"

"Or – what if I moved," Kageyama mutters, and sounds about five years old. "With another team."

"Suko-chan didn't have anything to do with that."

"I know."

Hinata considers this, Kageyama's frustration, the confusion, and anger he's been juggling, apparently, since Jitsuko showed up. If it was anyone else, Hinata would say that Kageyama saw her as a threat, but. He couldn't – it couldn't be – 

"What if I moved in with you?" Hinata feels numb as he asks this sudden question, even with his heart working faster and faster in his chest. "Like permanently. I was always living with you?"

"I wouldn't mind," Kageyama finally says, like this embarrasses him. He doesn't elaborate.

"What if I dated people while I lived with you?" Hinata presses.

Kageyama's expression goes dark, and he looks quickly away, glaring at streetlight. "That," he forces out, obviously the beginning of a lie. "Would be alright."

"Would you rather I didn't?"

Kageyama shrugs. 

He's blushing. 

Carefully, carefully, as though any sudden moves will break the spell of the moment, send Hinata back to miserable reality, he sets aside his drink, then pulls the box from Kageyama's hands, scooting in closer, face to face. 

Nothing between them now, no distractions, Kageyama's stopped glaring at random objects in the far distance. They face each other head on, and there's – curiosity, nervousness, _want_ , all there in his expression, and Hinata knows he's echoing back those same emotions. 

Hinata crosses the distance between them, and Kageyama, stunned, allows it.

Kageyama does not know how to kiss. 

He alternates between trying to hard and letting his lips simply open, lax, but he's always been a fast learner, and Hinata almost sobs in relief, _yes_ , when Kageyama cups his face, wanting to keep him still, _wanting_ Hinata – he wants Hinata – 

"Do – do you want to go out?" Hinata asks, voice wobbling. "With me?"

Kageyama nods, and they kiss again, this time a little better, clumsy still, but eager, because he _wants_ Hinata – he can – touch Kageyama, hold his hand, feel his hair, taste him, see what makes him fall apart and what makes him lose control. 

They can live together, and Hinata can go _home_.

~

Breaking the lease on Hinata's apartment comes with a fine, but Hinata pays this happily, and Kageyama helps him pack and carry his belongings, all in one go, to his own place.

Their place.

They don't actually talk over many details of this arrangement, Kageyama's never been terribly interested in that kind of planning, and Hinata realizes he's taken a lot for granted when, at the end of the first night there, Kageyama awkwardly gestures toward the futon – the same place Hinata slept when visiting in the past. 

"Uh," Hinata says, setting down the clothes he'd been hanging in the closet. "Most couples share a bed."

"Right – okay," Kageyama says, so stiff it takes Hinata a moment to realize it's _relief_. Did he think Hinata – doesn't want to sleep with him?

The next morning he wakes up to find Kageyama there, watching, waiting. Hinata is reminded of the cat his family had when he was a child, who would sit on the edge of Hinata's bed, crawling over when she noticed Hinata's eyes open, chirping impatiently for breakfast.

As soon as Hinata's eyes are open, Kageyama is leaning forward, practically on top of him, impatient to kiss again, and Hinata shakes with laughter, still marveling at the fact that he has this at all. 

From this sort of eagerness, Hinata had expected the physical element to escalate quickly between them.

Kageyama's literally never talked about anything sexual to Hinata before, but that doesn't mean much – Kageyama's not the type of person who would talk about this sort of thing regardless of his own actives. Hinata tried to speculate in the past, but ended up throwing up his hands about Kageyama's level of experience and/or desire when it comes to sex. 

He realizes, at this very slow build of intimacy between them, that there really is nothing behind the curtain. 

Kageyama's experience is a very short list, and he seems to have a fairly shallow understanding of what could happen with Hinata and intimacy, entirely happy with kissing, slowly upgrading to clumsy necking, before going to bed. 

Hinata works them up to hand-jobs and then decides to leave it there, wait for Kageyama to make a move when he feels comfortable with more – but Kageyama seems more than content with just this, grinding against one another, fucking into tight, slicked up hands.

"I thought we'd just keep doing – good stuff," Kageyama says, confused and annoyed, when Hinata asks in the middle of one of their necking sessions, late one night. They don't have work tomorrow, they can sleep in as late as they want, Kageyama's body is warm and willing beside him, and everything in Hinata's experience screams _now. Now is the time._

"What's the good stuff?" Hinata asks, having to hide just how charmed he is by this, knowing it would infuriate Kageyama, who wants to be taken very seriously. "Like this?" He cups the hot, solid shape of Kageyama's dick.

Kageyama's breath catches, and he nods. 

"Is my mouth good?" Hinata asks.

"What?"

"My mouth," Hinata repeats. "On your cock. Would that be good stuff?"

Kageyama's stare is intense, bright, neon, even more so than usual, and he doesn't appear to breathe for a beat. Then he nods.

"I'm going to touch you," Hinata says, after shifting down, between Kageyama's legs, and that lovely, lewd sight of his dick hardening. "Tell me if you don't like it."

Kageyama seems confused – every time Hinata's touched him like this, it's only ever been _the good stuff_ , why would this be anything different?

Hinata swallows him down, slow and easy, closing his eyes at the familiar weight on his tongue, cupping Kageyama's balls below that, fond and gentle. Kageyama is surprisingly quiet in sex – Hinata had figured it be one extreme or the other, like Kageyama is in every other circumstance, alternating between loud, barking shouts and long, sullen silences. He hears short, shaking little gasps and sighs as he works, and he hears them go suspiciously silent as his fingers start trailing back, deeper between Kageyama's legs, where it's warmer, shier. Untouched.

Hinata pulls back on Kageyama's cock enough to start rubbing his tongue, messy, probing and demanding, all over the leaking, sensitive head, a distraction that has Kageyama hissing and arching his back, opening himself to Hinata's fingers. Hinata takes advantage, exploring the sensitive skin there, not quite at his hole, but still soft and shivering beneath his touch. By the time Hinata eases up on teasing his dick, and Kageyama has come back down against the mattress, moaning steadily, his hips pushing up in an encouraging sort of bounce, then bearing down on the sensation of Hinata pressing his taint. 

Hinata licks up the side of Kageyama's cock, kisses the tip, then grins. "Good?"

"Aah – yeah," Kageyama says. He's got one hand over his head, the other gripping the sheets near his hip. He keeps up that motion, rocking up, then back down, and it's fluid, gorgeous, his pale skin flushing pink, muscles shifting in his stomach, his thighs, his cock hard and wet and leaking. Hinata nearly licks his lips at the sight, feeling impatient, rabid excitement – Kageyama's so goddamn _wanton_ , and Hinata hasn't even made it inside, yet. What will he look like then?

Hoping to distract, Hinata makes bold, daring eye contact as he takes Kageyama into his mouth again, his slick fingers sliding between Kageyama's round, plump cheeks – 

"What are – what's – " Kageyama looks actually panicked, and Hinata pulls back. 

"Just fingers," Hinata promises in a rush, desperate. _Please_ , god, please, he wants to do this so bad, and he knows if Kageyama doesn't freak out, he'll love it, Hinata can tell. He'll beg if he has to, he'll do anything Kageyama asks, and bites his lip to keep from offering this ridiculous thing. "Doesn't – doesn't it feel good?"

Kageyama looks confused, "That's – " he moans softly when Hinata moves back down, back to his taint, the thing that had made Kageyama so willing and wanton before.

"It'll feel even better when I touch there inside," Hinata says. "I promise – just fingers."

"I didn't – ah – " Kageyama's eyes pinch shut, and Hinata didn't move at all, but Kageyama's pressing down against it again. "Okay. Okay."

Hinata keeps the attention on Kageyama's cock easy and consistent, something to brace against as his fingers press inside. He stays there, stretching Kageyama's hole with snall, circling motions of his fingers, swallowing him down, until the tension in Kageyama's body is a good, thrumming thing – rocking up, into Hinata's attention, wanting more. Ready for more. 

Hinata gives it, sinking in – searching – 

" _Oh fuck,_ " Kageyama gasps, eyes going wide.

Hinata blinks in surprise – so Kageyama can get loud? The idea is so good Hinata presses against that spot again, impatient – 

"Oh – fuck, Shoyo – " he sounds completely upended, and has no defense when Hinata starts working him seriously – he throws his head back and Hinata watches his chest heave, then moan, loudly, shaking, as he presses again. 

Hinata lifts from Kageyama's dick, and it looks so wet and flushed and inviting he can't resist giving it another short kiss.

"Hey, Kageyama-kun," he says, the sheer want to fuck into Kageyama's body making him feel near drunk. "Can – can I touch there with my cock?" 

"You – you said fingers – "

"Yeah," Hinata says, and keeps rubbing, keeps pressing, keeps watching the way it makes Kageyama jerk and shiver and moan. "I can keep doing that, if you want to come like this – but – I could do it with my cock, too."

Kageyama groans, sounding tempted, and conflicted. 

Hinata shifts from where he's kneeling between Kageyama's legs, allowing Kageyama to feel just how hard he's gotten from this. He rocks against that firm, muscled thigh, moaning himself, so aroused by Kageyama it feels like he cut rut off on any part of him and get off, there are no wrong choices here, but – but really, what better spot would there be than the wet, warm space Hinata's found here, inside him? That makes Kageyama's hips jump and jerk from the bed, so fucking sensitive and ready for it.

"Okay," Kageyama mutters.

"Really?"

"I said okay!" Kageyama barks, embarrassed, but the anger in his face only lasts as long as it takes for Hinata to line himself up, and start to press inside. Then his eyebrows arch up, like he's in pain, but Hinata knows what it looks like when Kageyama is feeling good. What's new is the noises, which continue to spill out of Kageyama's mouth, louder than Hinata's ever heard, high and reedy between gasps. He's still adjusting, still trying to figure out if he likes it, flexing tight and nervous around Hinata's dick.

Hinata closes his eyes and forces himself to breath, to calm, and slowly Kageyama relaxes around him. 

Hinata has been smaller than most of his male partners, and he knows how to fuck inside them in a way that will leave an impression. 

"Shh – shit," Kageyama saying, then his mouth drops, a loud, surprised wail escaping as Hinata wraps his arms around Kageyama's thighs, slamming inside and watching the ripple across his body, the way he arches his back and cries. "Sh- Shoyo – fuck – oh god – "

"Yes," Hinata says, slowing down his pace, giving Kageyama time to breathe, then picking it back up again and watching his body bow pleasantly, crying out Hinata's name. 

He repeats this pattern twice more, groaning low in his throat at the gorgeous sight Kageyama makes, losing himself over and over again, so caught up that the sudden, sharp, snap of Kageyama's body takes him completely off guard – he's coming, spraying against his chest and gasping out Hinata's name between other broken nonsense. 

_Yes. Yes, good_ , Hinata's body says in response, thrusting in as hard and as close as he can, coming as he tips his head back, moaning Kageyama's name. He pulls out quickly, before the empty headed buzzing fully fades, knowing how strange the sensation can be the first time, after the rush has worn off. His dick twitches at the sight, sliding out of that pink, wet hole, now dripping and stretched, an utterly fucked open mess, from his cock.

"Nng," he groans, rabid, almost angry satisfaction hitting him at the sight. He crawls up Kageyama's body, sees his still dazed, breathless expression, and kisses him, hard. "That was good," he says, and brushes the hair away from Kageyama's face, petting and praising. "That was so good, Tobio."

"It was – " Kageyama still hasn't quite caught his breath. "Okay."

Hinata blinks, the spell of the afterglow broken. " _Okay?_ "

"That's what I said," Kageyama says, hand to Hinata's face, pushing him away, but there's a grin on his face, his cheeks are still pink and his eyes are bright in a way Hinata's never seen before. "Okay."

"This is okay?!" Hinata says, playing outraged, wiping his hand in the mess on Kageyama's stomach, showing him the come he spilled there.

"I didn't say _bad_ ," Kageyama shrugs. "I said okay."

This time Hinata comes at him with a pillow, which he knocks away easily, rolling Hinata onto his back and pinning him there. They kiss from some time, enough for the exertion of the fucking and late hour to finally catch up to both of them, growing slower, sloppier. They end up falling asleep with the light still on, without cleaning up the mess. Hinata wakes in the early hours of the morning, feeling disgusting, crusted and sore, and happy for the privilege as he leans over to switch off the light.

~

The thing about inviting a new person to a party is that it comes with introductions, with a title – _This is Choki, my boyfriend_ and _Manami, my girlfriend_ , it's natural and easy. 

No one thinks twice about Hinata and Kageyama arriving together, no one expects Kageyama's title to have changed from _this jerk_ to _Hinata's boyfriend._ It needs to be stated, clearly, he needs to go out of his way to do it.

Hinata himself enjoys the idea a lot, but he's fairly sure it's going to feel awkward and unnecessary to Kageyama. Still, it feels like something they should share with their friends face to face. He waits for Asahi's birthday to do it, because Asahi does not like a fuss – everyone important will be there, and almost no one else.

"Wait, what?" Tanaka asks, peering around Kageyama, as if hoping Jitsuko will be hiding behind him. "What happened to Suko-chan?!"

"We broke up," Hinata says. 

A shocked intake of air, and Tanaka and Nishinoya are possibly the only people more depressed by this news than Hinata's mother.

"Well, welcome back to the single life!" Tanaka recovers quickly. "Noya's been looking for someone to drag with him to – "

"He's not single," Kageyama says. "We're going out."

Kageyama's tone was nothing attention grabbing, if anything it was mild, matter of fact, but the room goes silent instantly. 

Hinata stares forward, shocked. 

If he had been asked, he would've said he understood Ippei's discomfort with being public together, and that he was fine with it. He would've even believed it, at the time. It's only now, after hearing the easy, frank way Kageyama says it, feeling his hand resting on Hinata's back, that Hinata feels the small, consistent rub, like a rock that's been stuck in his shoe for years, and now, finally, the unpleasant edge is gone, Hinata can slide into his space beside Kageyama and there's no painful stab he has to brace for.

"Yeah, uhm," Hinata says, clearing his throat against the sudden surge. "A few months now." 

"That – wow."

The entire room is blinking owlishly at them, save Tsukishima, who looks so goddamn smug from the corner it's almost enough to ruin Hinata's mood.

This news unfortunately completely upstages Asahi's birthday, but if anything he seems happy for the excuse to slip into the background. The tone of the rest of the evening is cheerful bewilderment, Hinata hears several heartfelt congratulations, and he can see the questions there, too, but none of them seem quite ready to ask them yet. He expects them to come over the next few weeks, when they're one on one, when they've had more time to adjust. 

Eventually Daichi calls Kageyama into a conversation, and it's just Tsukishima and Hinata, leaning against a wall in the back.

"You know," Tsukishima says. "I really didn't think you'd pull it off."

Neither did Hinata.

But Kageyama looks up from his conversation with Daichi, and scans the room. 

His eyes land on Hinata and his face lightens in relief, like it did when they were fifteen years old, when they were third years, when they were college students, and as adults, thinks actually he didn't pull anything off, at least not anything new. He's always had it, and really, the impressive thing is that he didn't ruin it.

Kageyama rejoins Hinata, and he doesn't say anything but everything about his energy says he's ready to go, now.

"Another half hour," Hinata says. Dinner is done, it's just idle mingling now, but it's been a while since this version of Karasuno, the flightless crows that went to nationals, were able to spend time together. 

Just a few more minutes, and they can go home.


End file.
